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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24144838">There is a swelling storm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lighteningboltfanatic/pseuds/lighteningboltfanatic'>lighteningboltfanatic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Because the best time to get together is after PTSD induced nightmares, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Lawsuit (9-1-1 TV), Post-Tsunami (9-1-1), references to the Tsunami</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:40:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,260</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24144838</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lighteningboltfanatic/pseuds/lighteningboltfanatic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Months after the Tsunami, Buck is still having nightmares and plagued by guilt.<br/>One bad night leads to everything fixing itself.</p><p>I'm very bad at summaries.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>412</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>There is a swelling storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title from Waves by Dean Lewis</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"CHRISTOPHER!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck's throat burns as the waves beat against him, stinging his eyes and pounding tons of weight against his chest as he yells again, and again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He beats against the waves but he’s pulled down again, this time, however, he can’t fight, he can’t get back to the surface no matter how much he fights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s drug down until suddenly it’s light again, although this time he isn’t in the middle of the Tsunami. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s in the middle of the grocery store, and Eddie’s standing in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And you lost my son, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Evan</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You lost him." Buck shakes his head quickly, staggering backwards but his back hits something and he's stuck. Stuck watching Eddie’s angered-pain face and hearing the words stabbing him in the chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This isn't how it happened. No-no-no." He shakes his head quickly, the world spinning and turning a multitude of grey as Eddie's voice rings against his ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You lost him!" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You're exhausting!" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Exhausting! You lost him!" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You lost-"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Exaus-." </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck's eye's slam open and he panics. His chest feels tight and heavy and he can't speak, it feels all too like it had in the Tsunami. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he spots his alarm clock, blaring red letters and he screams his mantra he’s obtained over the past many months, trying to keep himself from spiralling. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're okay. It's November. You're in your room. Chris is at home. Chris is okay. He's okay. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"He is okay." His voice is shaky at best and does nothing to help the weight pressing down even harder against his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He staggers to his feet as vicious images flash through his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Christopher drowning. Buck never finding him. Eddie screaming at him. He lost him. He lost him. He lost him.  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Christopher. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck's feet move on autopilot, he's lucky that he even remembered to grab his keys as he drives way too fast, ignoring every road law in the book. His hands shake despite his death grip on the wheel in an attempt to steady them, his eye's barely focusing as he pulls crooked in front of Eddie's house, sprinting up to the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Tsunami was months ago, he tries telling himself as he stands in front of the door. Tries telling himself that everything's okay, that this is ridiculous as his fist raps hard enough to make his knuckles bleed. He tries to tell himself that everything's okay as Eddie yells in his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You lost him! You lost him! You lost him!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But the door opens, silencing the screams immediately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Buck? What are you doing here so early- are you okay?" Buck taps his foot quickly, hands twiddling with each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"C...can I see Chris?" Eddie's face softens immediately and he steps aside, letting Buck nearly sprint down the hall to Chris' room. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The second Buck sees Chris, sleeping soundly under his sheets, his entire body relaxes as if a hundred pounds had been taken away and he can breathe again. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He feels a sudden, warm hand touch his shoulder and jumps, slamming against the wall but when he turns, it’s only Eddie.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re exhausting.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” Eddie whispers, pointing towards the kitchen with his head. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Eddie doesn’t say a word at first, just moving around the kitchen, making tea. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I’m sorry for coming so late. I know you’re probably tired, I just…” Buck struggles to find the words that explain everything he’s feeling. The tightness, the pain, the fear, the loss. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Wanted to make sure he was okay?” Eddie finishes for him, turning away from the kettle to look at Buck and Buck almost falls over at the amount of sincerity and love pouring from Eddie’s expression. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“How long have you been having nightmares, Buck?” Buck swallows and it tastes all too much like seawater. He grips at the counter tightly, choosing to look at the island instead of at Eddie’s warm eyes. “Buck?” Buck sighs, tearing a hand away from the counter to rake down his face. “Months.” He shrugs, acting like he doesn’t know but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>does </span>
  </em>
  <span>know the specifics. He knows exactly how long he’s been sleeping-not sleeping like this. How long he’s been putting on a facade and acting okay. He has to be okay. He has to be. “Specifically, Buck?” Buck sighs, finally allowing himself to look up and he chokes for a second. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>This is Eddie, he can’t lie to Eddie. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Six...seven months.” Eddie’s face morphs immediately into one of horror, his hands raking over his face and dropping on to the counter as he stares at Buck with such force, Buck almost can’t breathe again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seven months Buck… Why didn’t you ever say anything?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re exhausting.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Buck shakes his head, eyes trained onto the marble of the counter and he can hear Eddie moving closer, feel him next to him but he’s too afraid of moving, of looking up, of seeing him. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Buck?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re exhausting,” Buck whispers it softly but to him all he hears is it coming from Eddie’s mouth all those months back. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You’re exhausti- The grocery store.” Buck finally looks up only to lock eyes with Eddie, his face morphed into pure pain and sorrow. It hurts Buck to see his best friend hurting because of him, again. “You were right Eddie. I wasn’t thinking and I should’ve just sucked it up, I know and I’m trying that now…” Buck trails off when he’s suddenly yanked into warm arms. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He melts immediately, almost like putty in Eddie’s arms. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Eddie pulls away first as the kettle starts screeching at the two. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I was angry Buck…” Eddie starts, voice steady but verging on anger, anger at himself for the amount of pain he caused Buck in a moment of uncontrolled anger. “I missed you and I said all that stupid shit. I didn’t mean it.”<br/></span>
  <span>“But…”<br/></span>
  <span>Eddie shakes his head, passing the mug of tea to Buck who takes it slowly. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“No buts, Buck. I promise you on my life, I didn’t mean a word of it. I shouldn’t have said any of it in the first place. My mom always told me you should never hurt someone you love but I did that, didn’t I?” He looks over at Buck who’s staring at him, shock creasing his features and Eddie tries to think of what he said. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“You love me?” </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Eddie almost laughs, stepping around the counter until he’s within a foot of Buck. “We’ve only been co-parenting my son for almost two years but yes Buck, I love you.” Buck taps the counter, chewing on his lip for a second. “In a romantic sense?” Eddie barks out a laugh, quickly shutting his mouth when he remembers Christopher’s still sleeping upstairs. “Yes, Buck. I, Edmundo Diaz, love you, Evan Buckley, in the romantic sense.” Buck stands up slowly, closing the gap between the two and everything melts away when their lips touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a cliche, gooey way, everything fits perfectly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they pull away, Buck’s smiling and Eddie’s grinning as he runs a hand through the taller man’s hair. “Come on, let’s get you some sleep.” Buck almost denies but ends up letting Eddie gently pull him to his room. To his room where he’s slept numerous times after shifts, this feels entirely different though. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Eddie lays down first and pulls Buck into his chest, letting Buck bask in his warmth and Buck nearly falls asleep immediately. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“So...are we dating now?” The man under his head laughs, vibrating his body and Buck can feel him kiss his forehead. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Yes Buck, we’re dating now.” </span>
</p>
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